


F I T E Club

by Digishima



Series: Guarding My End [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Agender Character, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Texting, Thanksgiving, Werewolf character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 16:57:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9831317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Digishima/pseuds/Digishima
Summary: The Chaotic Neutral Squad has a group chat.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Characters Featured in this:
> 
> Erdem Malik (Fukboi) - A rich boy, male-leaning agender, married to safe Atem from an arranged marriage. Doesn't work, and is a total fuckboi and a memer.
> 
> Atem Niyazov (IndiAtemJones) - A werewolf who works as a freelance archeologist. She travels around the world with her husband, Erdem.\
> 
> Elliot Vasiliev (AceSexual) - A half-werewolf, Atem's younger half-sister. An asexual who was born intersex. Works as Atem's personal secretary and Erdem's babysitter.
> 
> Yune Su-Jeong (Error_404) - A Korean immigrant, transfeminine nonbinary, asexual. Engaged to Con. A computer tech.
> 
> Constantin Vaduva (Seductress) - A Romani-Romanian, is a housewife with expensive taste and can use magic.
> 
> Hong-Gi Tremblay (HongKong) - An agender, aromantic, Korean-Canadian who likes to sleep around. Su's twin through heteropaternal superfecundation (So technically they're half-siblings). They're an artist and practically lives with Su and Con.
> 
> Mattieu Tremblay (TremblayBeforeME) - Hong's father.
> 
> Adrienne Tremblay (theDarkAdrienne) - Hong's step-mother.
> 
> Suzanna Tremblay (SuzzieQue) - Hong's half-sister.

 

 

**Fukboi has invited IndiAtemJones, Seductress, Error_404, HongKong, and AceSexual to the group "F I T E Club"**

**IndiAtemJones:** Erdem I stg

**Fukboi:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**HongKong:** yas!! Finally we have a gc

**AceSexual:** Why am I here?

**IndiAtemJones:** My dear sister is too pure for this

**AceSexual:** Bitch, you thought

**IndiAtemJones:** ELLIOT!!!

**AceSexual:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Error_404:** Well this started out well

**IndiAtemJones:** I don't need your sarcasm today

**Fukboi:** We're coming hooooome, from Algeriaaaaaaa

**Error_404:** WHAT???

**Seductress:** You didn't think to tell us???

**HongKong:** Or me???

**IndiAtemJones:** It was SUPPOSED to be a surprise!

**Fukboi:** Whoops??

**AceSexual:** Was the excavation very successful?

**IndiAtemJones:** I already have a few museums fighting for first dibs.

**AceSexual:** Nice

**IndiAtemJones:** How has everyone been while we were gone?

**Seductress:** We have a very important announcement!!

**Fukboi:** Who is we??

**HongKong:** Me an Su, IDK why Con said we he isn't part of this

**Seductress:** I am offended

**Error_404:** Boohoo

**Seductress:** my own spouse

**AceSexual:** Get fricked ya dildo

**Fukboi:** ROFL ELLIOT!

**Fukboi:** I love ya kiddo omg

**IndiAtemJones:** What happened to my dear sister??

**AceSexual:** She dded your stuck with me now.

**IndiAtemJones:** ,,,anywya

**AceSexual:** Rude

**IndiAtemJones:** You nb pals have an announcements??

**Error_404:** Yeah, but if you're gonna be home tonight it can wait and we can get dinner

**Seductress:** Let's go to olive garden

**Error_404:** Let's not

**HongKong:** That guy from a few months ago is a server there

**Error_404:** name a restaurant that your sleezing around hasn't ruined for us

**HongKong:** ,,,

**HongKong:** AN Y W AY!!

**Error_404:** That's what I thought.

**HongKong:** I don't need this negetivity

**IndiAtemJones:** We should go to Lola's!

**Error_404:** !!!

**HongKong:** LOLA"S YAS

**AceSexual:** LLLoooooooolllaaaa's!!!

**IndiAtemJones:** We're going to Lola's whores!!

**Fukboi:** We land in 2 hours.

**Error_404:** You're on the plane now??

**Fukboi:** Yup.

**Seductress:** How are you messaging??

**Fukboi:** I'm rich?? And can afford the first class ticket, which comes with in-flight wi-fi

**IndiAtemJones:** and my sponsor wanted to splurge on the first class ticket so I could fly home in style.

**Seductress:** Damn

* * *

 

**IndiAtemJones:** I love LOla's

**Fukboi:** Same

**Error_404:** I want to marry this restaurant

**Seductress:** rt

**AceSexual:** Announcement time???

**Error_404:** YES!!

**HongKong:** !!!! Okay, time to sayy it!!

**IndiAtemJones:** Still reeling

**Fukboi:** cannot believe

**AceSexual:** Why would anyone hire BOLTH of you??

**Error_404:** We're technically not even going to be in the same building so??

**IndiAtemJones:** But also neither of yuou have any college credits??

**HongKong:** We both proved that we had enough skill in our fields to make that unnecessary.

**IndiAtemJones:** Congrats all the same!!

**Fukboi:** Friends with three literal professors and a housewife

**Seductress:** But I'm a pretty housewife

**Error_404:** rt

**Fukboi:** And Elliot, who is a smol bean but also organizes my entire life

**AceSexual:** True

**IndiAtemJones:** Time to go home!! Say goodbye to lola's

**Fukboi:** Nooooooo, I wanna live here!!

**HongKong:** sucks to be you

**Fukboi:** Actually sucking isn't my forte

**IndiAtemJones:** ERDEM!!!

**Fukboi:** Whoops

**AceSexual:** Leaving lmao b ye

* * *

 

**HongKong:** It's time to shame Su-Jeong!

**Fukboi:** What did they do?

**Error_404:** nothing

**HongKong:** I walk into their room to get them to get dressed because I want to do the cute twin dressup thing that I've been missing out on for like, all of my life??

**IndiAtemJones:** and??

**HongKong:** I find them typing on google and I haven't been noticed yet, which is rude, so I go over to see what they're googling

**Seductress:** uh???

**HongKong:** ""do canadians celebrate thanksgiving""

**Seductress:** omg su

**Error_404:** It's a valid question! I didn't even know what Thanksgiving was until I immigrated here when I was 19!!

**AceSexual:** Just like Hamilton

**Error_404:** Who??

**AceSexual:** How did you pass the immigration test??

**Error_404:** BRIBERY duh!

**AceSexual:** well,,,

**IndiAtemJones:** not surprised

**Fukboi:** rt

**Seductress:** Well,,,do that?

**HongKong:** REALLY???

**HongKong:** mYM own brother-n-l

**Seductress:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**IndiAtemJones:** Actually, yeah. For all my worldliness, I never considered that. It feels like such an american holiday,,

**Fukboi:** and we never celebrate it because we're all immigrants/poc who don't really feel a need to conform to american ideals??

**IndiAtemJones:** Nicely worded

**Fukboi:** thank fam

**IndiAtemJones:** You ruined it

**AceSexual:** So, do you Hong??

**HongKong:** Y E S!!!!

**Error_404:** Canada actually started celebrating Turkey Day before america did

**Seductress:** Huh

**HongKong:** SPEAKING OGF WHICH!!

**Error_404:** ????

**HongKong:** You all should come with me to Quebec to meet my pops

**Error_404:** Wouldn't that be awkward??

**HongKong:** Naaaaah

**AceSexual:** All of us?

**HongKong:** Did I fucking stutter??? all of you! You turkey-less heathens who don't know the sweet embrace of cranberry gelatin!!

**Fukboi:** I'm all for meeting the guy who raised this mess of a human

**HongKong:** Love you, too, fuck/

**Seductress:** I think it could be fun!

**HongKong:** I'm gonna message him now!!

**Error_404:** Uhoh

 

**HongKong has started a private chat with TremblayBeforeME  
**

**HongKong:** Pope!!

**HongKong:** Whoops **pops!!

**TremblayBeforeMe:** It is I, Pope Tremblay. God rest ye or something.

**HongKong:** lmao

**TremblayBeforeMe:** What's up, pup?

**HongKong:** So remember how I left Canada to go on a wild goosechase to find my twin!?!

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Did you??

**HongKong:** Like, a month or two ago #whoops

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Hong-gi!!

**HongKong:** I know I know, I'm sorry!! But they're like me!!

**TremblayBeforeMe:** A prostitute?

**HongKong:** That was a P H A S E!!

**HongKong:** But no, I mean, they're nonbinary!! Like me, kinda!! Agender and nonbinary are in the same wheelhouse of gender-nonconformity.

**TremblayBeforeMe:** How strange!

**HongKong:** but speakin of beinf a prostitute!! They're actually the opposite.

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Oh??

**HongKong:** They're asexual, in their terms "I get working parts and everything and it feels good when I have it, but sex isn't something that I actually feel the need to. I think it's gross and I don't feel any sexual urges"

**TremblayBeforeMe:** What an interesting foil.

**HongKong:** And they have this super close-knitted group of friends, like they're all great.

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Glad to see you've finally made some friends.

**HongKong:** Yeah. I'm actually really happy that I met them.

**HongKong:** But those fuckers didn't know Canada celebrated Thanksgiving!!

**TremblayBeforeMe:** ROFLOL

**TremblayBeforeMe:** But that is coming up soon, isn't it?

**HongKong:** Next week!

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Are you coming home?

**HongKong:** That's why I'm messaging you!! Can they come??

**TremblayBeforeMe:** How many is "they"?

**HongKong:** Su, Con, Atem, Elli, and Erdem. That makes six total.

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Sure! We have room. Your mom will be excited to see you again.

**TremblayBeforeMe:** I'll send you the money to buy tickets. Who sleeps where? How many rooms do we need to set up??

**HongKong:** Okay, so one room for Su and Con, they're engaged!!

**TremblayBeforeMe:** OMG!!

**HongKong:** I KNOW!! And Atem and Erdem are married so they'll sleep together and Elliot is all poor and alone unless they bring someone else??? I don't know if she's dating anyone yet but she's a restless sleeper so she needs a big bed regardless!!

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Suz and I will get started now!!

**HongKong:** Bye pops, love ye!!

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Love ye, too

 

**HongKong has entered "F I T E Club"**

**HongKong:** Okay, scrubs, start packing!

**AceSexual:** now??

**HongKong:** I just bought us tickets for tomorrow night we leave at 9!!

**Error_404:** Christ, Hong

**HongKong:** Sorry, pops and I got excited!! So you get to meet him and my ma and my big sister!!

**Error_404:** I

**Seductress:** They're having a panic attakc brrbb

**HongKong:** I'm coming over

**IndiAtemJones:** Poor thing,,,

* * *

 

**Fukboi:** Okay it has been an HOUR where are they!!

**Error_404:** I'm here!!

**HongKong:** Twin nap time!!

**Seductress:** We kind of passed tf out once we calmed Su down

**Error_404:** Sorry!!

**IndiAtemJones:** Youre fine, honey

**Fukboi:** We were just worried

**Error_404:** it's a lot to take in,,

**Error_404:** Being an orphan and then suddenly -poof- family!!

**HongKong:** Sorry

**Error_404:** NOT IME FOR APOLOGIES WE GOGTTA PACK!!

**Fukboi:** Canananda bitches

**AceSexual:** Woot!

**HongKong:** Elliot are you bringing anyone???

**AceSexual:** Naaah

**IndiAtemJones:** She's grounded for pining after that vampire woman.

**AceSexual:** As if she'll ever be into me, geez, rub it in.

**IndiAtemJones:** We're gonna go pack now

**IndiAtemJones has left the chat.**

**Fukboi:** I'm gonna go check on the wife!

**HongKong:** Meet us at C &S at six tomorrrow!!!

**Fukboi:** Got it!!

 

**AceSexual has added** **IndiAtemJones to the chat.**

**Error_404:** Morning sluts

**HongKong:** Fuck you Trmble

**Error_404:** Lmao srry not into incest

**HongKong:** fffffffff

**HongKong:** I'm done

**Seductress:** They stole each other's phones and are yelling across the living room at each other.

**Fukboi:** RIp in piece Constantin

**IndiAtemJones:** Get packed, you shits.

**Error_404:** W4e are!!!

**HongKong:** We didn't go to sleep until we did.

**AceSexual:** RIP

**AceSexual:** Everyone!! Leave now for C &S!!

**Error_404:**  Lox yes lord!!

**HongKong:** Yaaasss I love that fucking place!!

**Seductress:** We're leaving now!!!

**HongKong:** REMEMBER TO BRING ALL YOUR SHIT!!

**IndiAtemJones:** Got it!!

**Fukboi:** See you there!!

* * *

**Seductress:**  Lox are gross

**Error_404:** Divorced

**Seductress:** WHa!!

**Fukboi:** Lmao you literally made that noice out loud

**Error_404:** Like, I'll admit I'm mostly in it for the smoked salmon??

**HongKong:** Are you jewish

**Error_404:** Shut

**HongKong:** lmao

**Seductress:** We need to leave!!

**HongKong:** nyoom

**Fukboi:** there they go

**Error_404:** Where?? I have the keys???

**HongKong:** Su, help

**Error_404:** Mhmm

**HongKong:** It's cold.

**Error_404:** You litereally live in canada?

**HongKong:** And?? I'm a weak in the cold

**Error_404:** I'm coming

* * *

**Fukboi:** What gate do we go to??

**HongKong:** WHERE IS SU !!??

**Error_404:** Starbucks

**IndiAtemJones:** Of course

**Fukboi:** I'm lost.

**IndiAtemJones:** Gate G-4

**Fukboi:** Like the plane??

**Seductress:** Jusrt get over here you WEEB we're boardsing asnf I will leave your ass sin AMERICA!

**Fukboi:** RUNNGNIN!!!

* * *

**HongKong:** Pops is waiting outside!!

**Error_404:** Oh boy

**AceSexual:** LET"S GO

**Fukboi:** CANANANADA BITCHES!!

**IndiAtemJones:** OMG!! It feels so nice out here!

**Seductress:** Is that guy honking jingle bells your dad??

**HongKong:** Lmao yup!!

**AceSexual:** Let's G O!!!!!!

* * *

**HongKong has entered the chat "Tremblay Fisticuffs"**

**HongKong:** It is time

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Do it

**HongKong has added Error_404 to the chat.**

**HongKong:** Welcome, faM!!

**Error_404:** What??

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Welcome to the Tremblay family chat!!

**TremblayBeforeMe has changed the chat name to "TremblaYune Fisticuffs"**

**Error_404:** I

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Welcome to the family, kiddo, we're all glad to have you.

**SuzzieQue:** You're literally welcome to come in here any time!!

**theDarkAdrienne:** You can talk to us whenever you need to! Or want to!

**HongKong:** They're cryign!!

**Error_404:** I'm jsut relaly happy!

**TremblayBeforeMe:** Su, you poor child! Fam, group hug!!

**theDarkAdrienne:** On it!!

**Error_404:** I fkjaskjcn lvoeoi yoiu alllk!!!11!!

**SuzzieQue:** WE LOVE YOU TOO NOW PUT THE PHONE DOWN AND HUG US YOU SHIT!!!


End file.
